Tipsy Illusions

He said
"l love walking in the rain because no one can see me cry"
Well we aren't that different after all
But I love watching the rain pour
There's a certain sense of relief that comes with it
It's like it's washing away all my pain and anguish.

I love the clear sky after a rain fall or the day after a rainy night
It's new, bright and brings with it hope and serenity.
I love the night, cause it hides me from the world or the world from me
The morning makes me uneasy,
I have to face them with their judge full condemning eyes.
The morning makes me uneasy
For then I have to fake a smile, force a laugh and pretend.

The quietness is my solitude, the darkness my relief.
They tell me to be myself
It's not that easy in a world that's constantly turning you to someone else.
How can I when you're the one who forces me to be what I'm not?

Have confidence, lift your self esteem up high
And yet, you're the one who ridicules me
You tell me I'm beautiful and ugly at the same time
Exciting yet boring
You love me yet you don't.

Is it not you that tells me this
Or
Are these all just tipsy illusions.